Friday, April 22, 2005

Stella Awards

The Stella Awards

Once again it’s time to review the winners of the Annual Stella Awards. The Stellas are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds for making the coffee too hot. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.

7th Place

January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running amok inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering that the misbehaving tyke was Ms.
Robertson’s son.

6th place

19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles, California, won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

5th place

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He could not reenter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family were on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the house owners’ insurance company, claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4th place

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor’s beagle.
The beagle was on a chain in its owner’s fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd place

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500, after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx.
The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd place

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, sued the owner of a nightclub in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to crawl through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge.
She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st place

This year’s winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr.
Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago motor home. On his trip home from an Oklahoma University football game, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver’s seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed, and then overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner’s manual that he actually could not do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago motor home. The company actually changed its manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there were any other complete morons buying its recreation vehicles.

3 Comments:

Blogger RandomLiterati said...

LOL...I like the one about the guy stealing the hubcaps haha what morons.

April 22, 2005 5:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

man, are these for real?... only in america!

April 22, 2005 5:55 PM  
Blogger AKA said...

this is EXACTLY why I dont want to go into personal injury law - because if anyone stupid enough to sue for things like this walked into my office, i'd beat them with a dandaa (risking a suit myself, but it'd be worth it)

April 23, 2005 12:14 AM  

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